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  • Matts Josefsson

Observations Whilst Standing in line boarding a Plane (Long title I know)

Uppdaterat: 2 juni 2018

A few weeks back I was standing in line waiting to board an aircraft on my way back to Sweden. In front of me there's a little boy in the arms of his father. The child is screaming and it seems like he wants to look at something because he keeps on saying "look" "look". The father eventually hands the boy over to his mother and the child goes quiet. Seconds later I hear a woman from behind me saying “how lucky mom was there”.

At the time I think I went a bit taken by the comment because I didn't really think people had such old conceptions anymore about who's the best gender to parent a child.

It felt like the woman behind me was a bit content with her comment, as if her preconception was confirmed. The thing was that the boy soon started again with his wishes to look and he started screaming again. I didn't hear anything else from the woman behind me and I think the silence spoke for itself.

The staff at the counter asks us to show our hand luggage which I didn't have any. I showed my papers and we went down the isle towards the plane. After a while the couple with the boy catches up. I hear the woman telling the man off blaming him for not having anything in his hands. He seems quite confused to be honest as if he's not quite sure what is being asked of him. Moments later when I look he's got something in his hands, not sure what it is.

The situation made me wonder about a lot of things - old preconceptions, men being confused about how to basically be a man, both as single as in a relationship, women being stuck in a role they feel uncomfortable with but they keep on going anyway, maybe because she doesn't know who's going to do it otherwise. With the man it felt like he was still living his old bachelor life only he's not but in a relationship being a father. The woman seemed like she took the role of being the mom but it didn't feel as if she felt too much of a support from the father.

Another thing I noticed was the lack of love between them. That is usually something I pick up pretty quick. I can sometimes feel it's a shame when that happens. When there's no real intimacy between couples. When they just feel like two persons doing life together. It actually irks me a bit. And I think that is because I know how it can be.

Eventually we all went onboard and the plan took off.

I'm not sure where I want to go with this but it feels like there are lots of preconceptions about a lot of things that are hanging around us and affecting us all of the time. That woman behind me probably didn't consider that her thoughts about the favoring of the mother as the best one for a child is actually affecting how confident and comfortable the man will feel about himself as a father.

It's like we feed a consciousness by the preconceptions we hold on to. And maybe the way to evolve out of this is to look at the preconceptions we hold. And that would apply to everything; Parenthood as one example in this case, but also how we view the world, are we part of something bigger, how much do we affect the rest of the universe, how are we as men and women, are we different by the core or actually quite alike, if not completely the same by quality.

And that's a wrap for now. I'll come back and sink my teeth into more interesting things soon enough. Thanks for reading, Matts

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